10 Signs You’ve Raised a Spoiled Child & How to Turn the Tide

Raising children is one of life’s most rewarding challenges, but it can sometimes lead you into murky waters, especially when it comes to discipline and entitlement.

Have you ever paused and wondered if your child might be a bit too spoiled? Recognizing the signs early can help you steer their developmental journey back on track. Here’s a list of ten telltale signs that your child might be spoiled and practical advice on what you can do about it.

1. They Struggle with Sharing

Signs of Trouble: Children who are spoiled often have a hard time sharing their belongings. This behavior might manifest during playdates or school activities where the expectation to share is typical. If your child frequently throws tantrums or becomes overly upset when asked to share, this might be a red flag. (ref)

What You Can Do: Encourage sharing by setting up play scenarios that require taking turns. Praise your child when they share nicely, emphasizing how their actions make others feel happy. Consistently practicing this can help instill the value of sharing in your child.

2. They Rarely Express Gratitude

Signs of Trouble: A spoiled child might not say “thank you” or show appreciation for gifts or kind gestures. This lack of gratitude isn’t just about manners; it reflects a deeper issue of entitlement and expectation.

What You Can Do: Model gratitude in everyday interactions and make it a family practice to discuss things you’re grateful for. This can be during dinner or before bedtime. Reinforce polite expressions and explain the joy that showing appreciation can bring to others.

3. They Are Dismissive of Authority

Signs of Trouble: If your child frequently ignores rules or talks back to adults, they might be demonstrating spoiled behavior. This disrespect can create significant challenges in school and other authority-based environments.

What You Can Do: Establish clear and consistent rules at home. Explain the reasons behind rules and the consequences of breaking them. Follow through with consequences when necessary and ensure that your child understands the importance of respecting authority. (ref)

4. They Demand Constant Attention

Signs of Trouble: Spoiled children often demand all eyes on them and can become disruptive if they feel ignored. This craving for constant attention can strain family dynamics and social relationships.

What You Can Do: Set boundaries around attention-seeking behavior. Encourage independent play by providing activities that can be done alone. Also, make sure to allocate times when you can give undivided attention so your child doesn’t feel neglected.

5. They Can’t Handle Disappointment

Signs of Trouble: An inability to handle disappointment is a classic sign of a spoiled child. Whether it’s not getting the toy they wanted or not winning a game, these situations can trigger extreme reactions. (ref)

What You Can Do: Teach your child to manage expectations and cope with disappointment. Use disappointments as teaching moments to develop resilience and understanding that not every desire can be immediately fulfilled.

6. They Manipulate to Get Their Way

Signs of Trouble: Manipulation tactics like guilt-tripping, crying on demand, or throwing tantrums are often used by children who are used to getting their way. This behavior indicates a lack of problem-solving skills and empathy.

What You Can Do: Do not give in to manipulative behaviors. Stand firm and explain why such actions are unacceptable. Encourage your child to communicate their needs and desires openly and honestly.

7. They Have Few Real Friends

Signs of Trouble: A child who is spoiled might find it challenging to make and keep friends. Their inability to compromise, share, or empathize can make them less desirable as playmates.

What You Can Do: Help your child develop social skills by arranging playdates and monitoring their interactions. Guide them on how to be a good friend and discuss the feelings of others regularly.

8. They Are Unwilling to Help Out

Signs of Trouble: If your child consistently resists chores or helping out around the house, it could be a sign of entitlement. Contributing to household tasks is a basic part of family life that a spoiled child might feel is beneath them.

What You Can Do: Implement a chore chart with tasks appropriate for your child’s age. Reward completed chores with praise or a small reward. Explain how helping out benefits the whole family and builds a sense of community.

9. They Exhibit Materialistic Tendencies

Signs of Trouble: A constant demand for new toys, clothes, or gadgets can indicate spoiled behavior, especially if the person disregards the value of items and money.

What You Can Do: Teach your child the value of money by giving them an allowance in exchange for chores. Encourage saving for desired items rather than offering them outright. Discuss the difference between needs and wants.

10. They React Poorly to ‘No’

Signs of Trouble: If hearing ‘no’ triggers a meltdown, your child may be spoiled. This reaction shows a lack of preparedness to deal with denial and frustration.

What You Can Do: Be consistent with enforcing limits and saying no when appropriate. Help your child understand that ‘no’ is not a punishment but a part of life. Teach coping strategies for dealing with frustration and denial.

Identifying and addressing spoiled behavior in your child early can help them grow into well-rounded, respectful, and empathetic individuals. With consistent effort and patience, you can correct course and ensure your child develops healthy relationships and behaviors.