10 Strategies for Dealing With Overly Talkative People

Ever found yourself trapped in a conversation that seems to have no end? You nod politely, glance at your watch, but the words keep flowing. 

While we might assume that the most talkative people are also the most eloquent, research reveals a surprising twist: verbal ability has little to do with talkativeness. In fact, studies suggest those with higher verbal skills tend to spend more time not talking, using pauses to gather their thoughts.¹ 

Here are 10 strategies to help you gracefully manage conversations with those who love the sound of their own voice.

1. Time Management

Politely set boundaries by letting the person know you have limited time. For example, say, “I have 5 minutes to chat before my next meeting.” This establishes a time frame for the conversation, making it easier to disengage when needed.

2. Active Listening & Redirection

Pay attention to their conversation and gently guide them towards a specific topic or point. 

You can interject with, “That reminds me of…” or “I’m curious to hear more about…” to subtly steer the conversation.

3. Non-Verbal Cues

Use subtle body language, like breaking eye contact or angling your body away, to signal your desire to end the conversation.

Combining this with verbal cues like “Well, it was great catching up” reinforces your intent to wrap things up.

4. Assertive Statements

If other tactics fail, be direct and assertive. Say something like, “I need to focus on something right now” or “I’m feeling overwhelmed and need some quiet time.”  This sets a clear boundary and prioritizes your needs.

5. The Power of “Hmm” & “Ah”

Instead of full sentences or questions, respond with minimal verbal cues like “Hmm” or “Ah.” This indicates you’re listening without necessarily encouraging them to continue at length.

6. Gentle Interruption

When there’s a natural pause, interject with a phrase like, “Before I forget…” or “On that note…” This allows you to regain control of the conversation and steer it in a different direction.

7. The Prepared Excuse

Have a few go-to excuses ready for situations where you need to escape a conversation. This could be anything from a work deadline to a family commitment. 

For example, “I’m so sorry, but I have to run to pick up my kids.”

8. Buddy System

Enlist the help of a friend or colleague if you know you’ll be encountering an overly talkative person.

A prearranged signal can be your cue for them to “rescue” you from the conversation.

9. The Post-Conversation Reflection

If you frequently find yourself in conversations that drain your energy, take some time afterwards to reflect.

Analyze what triggers you and brainstorm strategies for the next encounter. This will help you build confidence and better manage such situations in the future.

10. Exit Strategies

Have a pre-planned exit strategy, like a phone call to take or an errand to run. This gives you a valid reason to leave the conversation without feeling rude. For instance, say, “It’s been lovely chatting, but I need to get back to work now.”

Conversations with overly chatty people can be a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be a draining experience. By implementing these strategies, you can regain control, protect your energy, and still maintain positive relationships. 

Source:

1. Bulletin of the Psychonomic Society