The traditional notion of committed couples sharing a home is being challenged by a growing trend known as “Living Apart Together” (LAT).
Surprisingly, approximately one-third of U.S. adults who are neither married nor cohabiting have embraced this non-conventional relationship style, where partners maintain separate living spaces while remaining deeply connected.1
Here are 16 common reasons driving this shift on why couples are increasingly choosing to redefine their relationships by living apart.
1. Maintaining Individuality
Living apart allows couples to preserve their independence, personal space, and unique routines. It prevents the feeling of being consumed by the relationship and allows for continued self-growth.
2. Reduced Conflict
Sharing a living space can lead to friction over household chores, lifestyle habits, and personal preferences. Living apart minimizes these potential conflicts, fostering a more harmonious relationship.
3. Enhanced Romance
Absence can make the heart grow fonder. Living apart can create a sense of anticipation and excitement for the time spent together, leading to more fulfilling and passionate encounters.
4. Career & Personal Goals
Living apart can be a practical solution for couples with demanding careers or personal pursuits in different locations. It allows for prioritizing individual goals without sacrificing the relationship.
5. Financial Independence
Separate living spaces can mean separate financial responsibilities, enabling each partner to manage their finances independently and maintain a sense of control over their economic well-being.
6. Differing Sleep Schedules or Lifestyle Habits
Couples with conflicting sleep patterns or lifestyle habits (e.g., early bird vs. night owl, neat freak vs. messy person) can find living apart to be a more peaceful and respectful arrangement.
7. Blended Families
For couples with children from previous relationships, living apart can be a way to ease the transition into a new family dynamic.
It allows time for children to adjust and for the couple to establish a solid foundation before considering cohabitation.
8. Increased Appreciation
Living apart can lead to a greater appreciation for each other’s company and qualities. The time spent together becomes more intentional and cherished, as it is not taken for granted.
9. Testing Compatibility
Living apart can serve as a trial period for couples to assess their compatibility in the long run. It allows them to experience the dynamics of a committed relationship without the full immersion of cohabitation.
10. Avoiding Feeling Trapped
Some individuals fear the feeling of being trapped or suffocated in a relationship when living together. Living apart can alleviate this anxiety and create a sense of freedom within the partnership.
11. Prioritizing Self-Care
Living alone can provide the space and time for individuals to focus on their self-care routines, hobbies, and personal growth. This can lead to increased happiness and well-being, which can positively impact the relationship.
12. Respecting Introversion
For introverted partners, living apart can be crucial for recharging and avoiding feeling overwhelmed by constant togetherness. It allows for the necessary alone time to thrive in the relationship.
13. Maintaining Mystery
Living apart can help maintain an element of mystery and intrigue in the relationship. The time spent together becomes more special and allows for continued discovery of each other’s personalities and interests.
14. Avoiding Premature Commitment
Living apart allows couples to take the relationship at a slower pace and avoid rushing into cohabitation or marriage before they are fully ready. This can lead to a more thoughtful and lasting commitment.
15. Nurturing Existing Friendships
Living apart allows individuals to maintain and nurture their existing friendships and social circles without feeling obligated to include their partner in every social activity. This can lead to a healthier balance in their social lives.
16. Embracing Modern Trends
Living apart together (LAT) is becoming increasingly common and accepted in modern society. It represents a shift away from traditional relationship models and embraces a more flexible and independent approach to partnership.
Source:
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Nancy Maffia
Nancy received a bachelor’s in biology from Elmira College and a master’s degree in horticulture and communications from the University of Kentucky. Worked in plant taxonomy at the University of Florida and the L. H. Bailey Hortorium at Cornell University, and wrote and edited gardening books at Rodale Press in Emmaus, PA. Her interests are plant identification, gardening, hiking, and reading.