18 Bipolar Phrases That Can Hurt Rather Than Help When Speaking to Someone

To foster better understanding and support, here are 18 things you should never say to someone with bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder affects millions worldwide, with an estimated 2.8% of U.S. adults diagnosed.¹ This complex mental health condition, characterized by extreme mood swings between manic highs and depressive lows, can significantly impact a person’s life.

Living with bipolar disorder is challenging enough without having to deal with insensitive comments from others. Even well-meaning friends and family can sometimes say the wrong thing, causing hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

While most people don’t intend to be hurtful, these 18 phrases can be particularly damaging to those struggling with this complex mental health condition.

1. “You’re just overreacting.”

Dismissing someone’s emotions as an overreaction minimizes their experience and invalidates their feelings. For individuals with bipolar disorder, mood episodes are very real and often beyond their control.

Suggesting that someone is simply overreacting can make them feel misunderstood and alone. It’s important to recognize that their emotional responses, while sometimes intense, are a symptom of their condition and not a personal choice.

2. “Everyone has mood swings.”

While it’s true that most people experience ups and downs, bipolar mood episodes are far more extreme and disruptive than typical mood fluctuations. This statement trivializes the severity of bipolar disorder.

Comparing bipolar disorder to normal mood changes fails to acknowledge the significant impact it has on a person’s life. The condition involves more than just good and bad days – it can profoundly affect relationships, work, and overall functioning.

3. “You don’t look bipolar.”

Bipolar disorder doesn’t have a specific “look,” and this comment perpetuates harmful stereotypes. The condition affects people of all backgrounds and appearances.

Many individuals with bipolar disorder can appear completely fine on the outside, especially between episodes. This statement shows a lack of understanding of the internal nature of mental health conditions.

4. “Have you tried just being happier?”

Suggesting that someone can simply choose to be happy demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of bipolar disorder. Depression is not a choice, and mania is not equivalent to happiness.

This type of advice oversimplifies a complex medical condition. Bipolar disorder requires professional treatment, often including medication and therapy, not simplistic solutions.

5. “You’re so moody lately.”

Labeling someone as “moody” can be hurtful and dismissive. Bipolar mood episodes are not the same as being moody or temperamental.

This comment fails to recognize the medical nature of bipolar disorder. It can make the person feel blamed for something that is largely out of their control.

6. “I wish I was manic sometimes.”

Romanticizing mania shows a lack of understanding about how destructive manic episodes can be. Mania often leads to risky behaviors and negative consequences.

This statement trivializes the serious nature of bipolar disorder. Mania is not simply a period of high energy or productivity – it can be dangerous and destabilizing.

7. “You’re acting crazy.”

Using terms like “crazy” is stigmatizing and offensive. It perpetuates negative stereotypes about mental illness and can be deeply hurtful.

This kind of language contributes to the stigma surrounding bipolar disorder. It’s important to use respectful, non-judgmental language when discussing mental health.

8. “Just snap out of it.”

Depression is not something a person can simply “snap out of.” This advice shows a lack of understanding about the nature of depressive episodes.

Telling someone to snap out of depression is like telling someone with a broken leg to just start walking. It’s not helpful and can make the person feel even worse about their situation.

9. “You’re just being lazy.”

Depression can severely impact a person’s energy levels and motivation. Labeling this as laziness is inaccurate and hurtful.

This statement fails to recognize depression as a legitimate medical condition. It can make the person feel guilty for symptoms that are beyond their control.

10. “I thought you were taking medication.”

Medication is not a cure-all for bipolar disorder. Even with proper treatment, individuals may still experience symptoms or episodes.

This comment implies that the person isn’t trying hard enough to manage their condition. It oversimplifies the complex nature of bipolar disorder and its treatment.

11. “You don’t need medication, just exercise more.”

While exercise can be beneficial for mental health, it is not a substitute for proper medical treatment of bipolar disorder. This advice downplays the seriousness of the condition.

Suggesting that lifestyle changes alone can manage bipolar disorder is misleading and potentially dangerous. Professional treatment, often including medication, is typically necessary.

12. “I get depressed sometimes too.”

Comparing clinical depression to occasional sadness minimizes the severity of bipolar depression. The two experiences are vastly different in intensity and duration.

This statement shows a lack of understanding about the depth of bipolar depression. It can make the person feel misunderstood and invalidated.

13. “You’re too smart to have bipolar disorder.”

Intelligence has no bearing on whether someone develops bipolar disorder. This comment perpetuates myths about mental illness and who it affects.

Bipolar disorder is a brain-based illness that can affect anyone, regardless of intelligence or achievement. This statement is both inaccurate and potentially hurtful.

14. “It’s all in your head.”

While bipolar disorder does affect the brain, saying it’s “all in your head” dismisses the very real impact it has on a person’s life. This phrase minimizes the struggle of living with the condition.

Bipolar disorder has biological, psychological, and environmental components. Reducing it to something that’s just “in your head” fails to acknowledge its complexity and seriousness.

15. “You’re just attention-seeking.”

Accusing someone of seeking attention for their bipolar symptoms is deeply hurtful and stigmatizing. It invalidates their genuine struggle with a serious mental health condition.

This statement can prevent people from seeking help when they need it. Fear of being labeled as attention-seeking can lead to isolation and worsening symptoms.

16. “Everyone’s a little bipolar.”

This statement trivializes bipolar disorder and shows a lack of understanding about its nature. Bipolar disorder is a specific medical condition, not a personality trait.

Saying everyone is “a little bipolar” minimizes the significant impact the disorder has on those diagnosed with it. It’s important to recognize bipolar disorder as a serious mental health condition.

17. “You don’t seem that bipolar to me.”

Bipolar disorder can manifest differently in different people. This comment implies that there’s only one way to experience the condition, which is not true.

Many people with bipolar disorder become adept at hiding their symptoms. This statement fails to recognize the internal struggle many face, even when they appear fine on the outside.

18. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

Minimizing someone’s experience with bipolar disorder can be extremely hurtful. The condition can have a profound impact on every aspect of a person’s life.

This comment shows a lack of empathy and understanding. It’s important to validate the challenges faced by those living with bipolar disorder, even if you can’t fully understand their experience.

Understanding and supporting individuals with bipolar disorder is crucial for their well-being and recovery. By avoiding insensitive comments and educating ourselves about the condition, we can create a more compassionate environment for those affected.

Source:

1. National Alliance on Mental Illness