21 Behaviors That Could Cost You Your Best Friend

In human relationships, friendships are not immune to challenges, changes, and sometimes, unfortunate endings. Many people shared how they found themselves drifting away from their once best friends.

1. One-Sided Friendship

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“When I realized that the only time she ever got in touch with me was because she wanted something from me.”

Reciprocity is essential, one-sided friendships stand as a glaring anomaly. It’s a scenario where one person is always reaching out, always giving, and the other is just taking. It’s a draining, unsustainable dynamic that often necessitates a hard yet necessary goodbye.

2. Fresh Perspectives

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“Got a new friend and hung out together a few times. New friend mentioned how old friend was treating me [horribly] and I didn’t seem to notice. As soon as new friend mentioned it, that’s all I could notice.”

Imagine this: a new friend enters your life, bringing with them a fresh set of eyes that suddenly unveil the toxic patterns in your existing friendships. It’s a revelation that could be a pathway to healthier relationships, a chance to break free from cycles of negativity and rediscover the joy of balanced friendship.

3. Drama Magnets

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“When I realized that they just brought negative energy and drama with them everywhere. Something or someone always had to be wrong and they desperately needed to be the center of everyone’s attention. It just became grating and I found myself less happy around them. So I had to remove myself from the friendship.”

Drama magnets are individuals who seem to attract chaos wherever they go. Their lives are a whirlpool of issues, with them often at the epicenter. Friendships with such individuals can become exhausting, a never-ending cycle of crises that leave no room for peace, joy, or growth.

4. Substance Abuse

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“He started smoking crack and insists that the world is a simulation.”

Substance abuse is a dark cloud that can overshadow the brightest of friendships. It brings with it a storm of unreliability, broken promises, and hurt. While it’s painful to distance oneself from a friend caught in the grips of addiction, sometimes it becomes necessary to preserve one’s well-being.

5. Unchecked Behavior

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“My ex-bff and I were both about 33 at the time. I met her daughter (12yo) for the very first time and she was a complete b**** to me the entire lunch. Saying things like ‘Wow, you’re really ugly’ and ‘that’s so stupid’ after I would say something. ‘Your hair looks like a witch’ ‘your clothes are gross.’ Loud enough that other tables kept looking over. And the ex-bff never once scolded her or even told her to stop. Instead, she’d sheepishly laugh and say ‘She’s just a little headstrong’ ‘Don’t pay attention, she’s always difficult with new people’ ‘She doesn’t really mean it.’”

Sometimes, a friend’s family or close circle exhibits disrespectful behavior towards you, and it goes unchecked. This lack of action speaks volumes, indicating a lack of respect and understanding. It’s a red flag, signaling that it might be time to reassess the foundations of the friendship.

6. Overbearing Partners

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“BFFs for about 10 years. I finally distanced myself because I couldn’t handle her relationship. It was very unhealthy, IMO. She literally couldn’t do anything alone; if she showered, he showered. She went to work & he went & hung out there for her shift. It got to the point of me telling her that he wasn’t invited so he would stop showing up with her to our hangouts. And at that point, she would either refuse to come, cancel at the last minute or she would come & rush through whatever we had planned so she could meet him outside where he would loiter waiting for her to finish hanging out with me. Or she would come & he would ‘show up’ about 10 minutes later & act like it’s a coincidence that we’re at the same place & then join us. Very annoying.”

Witnessing a friend succumb to the demands of an overbearing partner is heart-wrenching. The joyous person you once knew gradually fades, replaced by someone constantly seeking approval from their partner. It’s a painful transformation that often leads to an inevitable distance as you strive to preserve your peace.

7. Unspeakable Betrayal

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“Two ex-best friends. I was sexually assaulted at a party by someone we all knew. My now ex-friends were there at the time. After that, they drifted away. They stopped inviting me to hang out, and the few times I saw them it was uncomfortable. They didn’t even ask me how I was doing. I don’t know why they weren’t there for me—guilt, discomfort maybe? It’s been over a year since I last saw them and it still hurts a lot.”

Betrayal cuts deep, leaving scars that time struggles to heal. When a friend fails to stand by your side during traumatic events, it shatters trust, leaving a void filled with pain and unanswered questions. It’s a harsh lesson in recognizing who truly deserves a place in your life.

8. Broken Record Conversations

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“She only wanted to talk to me about her relationship problems with her crazy boyfriend. My advice to her fell on deaf ears and I couldn’t handle hearing about how poorly he treated her over and over.”

Conversations that loop endlessly around a single topic, especially relationship troubles, can drain the vitality of a friendship. It becomes a monologue rather than a dialogue, a venting session devoid of reciprocity. Setting boundaries becomes essential, carving out space for diverse, enriching discussions that nurture friendship.

9. Therapy and Self-Realization

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“It’s super, super common that as you heal you find yourself moving on from relationships that no longer serve you because they were premised in your previous unhealthy behavior/belief systems. I’m experiencing this currently.”

Embarking on a therapeutic journey often brings a wave of self-realization. It’s a path of growth that sometimes means outgrowing friendships that no longer serve your higher self. It’s a brave step towards nurturing self-worth, even if it means saying goodbye to familiar faces.

10. Time and Distance

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“My answer seems lame to everyone else’s. Time and distance. She’s no longer my best friend but she’s sort of my friend.”

As the sands of time slip through the hourglass, friendships too can drift. Physical and emotional distance can create a gentle gap, morphing best friends into acquaintances. It’s a natural evolution, a testament to changing paths and priorities, yet it carries a tender hope for respectful, albeit distant, camaraderie.

11. Heart-Wrenching Discoveries

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“He got my wife pregnant. Then, knowing she wasn’t mine. They hid it from me, hoping I wouldn’t figure it out. I didn’t find out my daughter wasn’t mine until she was 4.”

Discoveries that shake the foundation of trust can be devastating. Whether it’s a secret affair or a hidden truth about a child’s paternity, such revelations can tear friendships apart, leaving a trail of heartbreak and lost trust in their wake.

12. Fair-Weather Friends

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“She ignored me whenever we had other people around, but when she didn’t have anyone else to hang out with she would’ve texted me but she would’ve got mad and try to make me feel bad if I couldn’t hang out with her.”

Fair-weather friends are like summer rain; they’re there in the pleasant times but disappear at the first sign of trouble. This realization can be painful, leading to a reevaluation of the friendship’s depth and a decision to seek more reliable, steadfast connections.

13. Negative Energy

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“Her negative energy. She would literally talk about everybody because she was insecure and I got so tired of it and just stopped talking to her.”

A cloud of negativity can suffocate even the most resilient friendship. When a friend constantly indulges in gossip and criticism stemming from their insecurities, it can drain your energy and joy, urging you to seek a more positive and uplifting circle.

14. Setting Boundaries

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“I realized I’m a people pleaser and started setting boundaries. The rest sorted itself out.”

Setting boundaries is a self-care mantra that comes to the rescue in draining friendships. It’s about defining what is and isn’t acceptable and fostering relationships that respect your peace of mind and emotional well-being.

15. Unforgivable Actions

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“Slept with another mutual friend’s wife after he had a stroke and was hospitalized.”

Some actions cross the line of forgiveness, venturing into a territory where reconciliation seems impossible. It could be a hurtful comment that shows insensitivity to your experiences or a betrayal that goes against every moral fiber, signaling that it’s time to close that chapter and move on.

16. Changing Beliefs

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“My ex-best friend left me when I got engaged to my now husband. We were both raised Mormon and were not getting married in the temple. Big deal in the Mormon church. She thought we should “wait until we were worthy” and that we were only getting married to have sex. Husband and I have been together 11 years now, no longer Mormon, and, for the record, got married because we love each other.”

Diverging paths in beliefs, especially in the context of religious or moral values, can create rifts in friendships. It’s a delicate dance of respecting each other’s evolving perspectives while trying to hold onto the shared history, a dance that sometimes ends in a respectful parting of ways.

17. Lost and Changed Friends

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“He got a girlfriend and doesn’t need me anymore. his personality has changed a lot and I can’t recognize him anymore. also, he started ghosting me. I miss my best and only friend”

The person you once knew like the back of your hand transforms, becoming almost unrecognizable. It’s a gradual process, where changes in personality and habits signal a drift apart, leaving behind a nostalgic longing for the friend who once was.

18. Disturbing Revelations

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“He came back from Iraq really f-ed up. It would be one thing if he was experiencing emotional trauma because of things he had to do but he would brag about the people he killed and describe in unsolicited detail the things he did to them (war crime-level). Deep down I think he was [lying] but to me, that’s something super f-ed up to lie about.”

When a friend shares details of morally reprehensible actions, it shakes the foundation of the friendship. Whether boasting about serious misconduct or sharing unsolicited graphic details, it unveils a dark side that is difficult to overlook, forcing a reevaluation of the relationship.

19. Toxic Triangles

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“My sister and I were friends with her together. She was never a great friend to me, she was closer to my sister. They’re the same age (a year younger than me), went to school together, knew each other longer. She always treated me at the third wheel, but I just wanted to fit in with my gorgeous sister and her gorgeous friend. I think at first we both had blinders on to her. She was always giving half compliments or very backhand compliments. She ALWAYS copied everything my sister did or wanted to do. It got to the point where she was constantly putting my sister down, putting her relationship down, making snide comments about how she looked (my sister is a goddess and I am not just saying that), and it seemed like my sister just didn’t notice.”

Friendships involving family dynamics can sometimes spiral into toxic triangles, where you are caught between familial ties and friendship bonds. It’s a precarious balance, navigating the waters of loyalty and truth, often leading to a painful but necessary distance.

20. Group Dynamics

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“We had a group of 4 of us that were really close. The guy who introduced us all to each other started dating a girl a decade younger than him. I knew her from school and warned him she was a pathological liar, but he decided I was the liar and jealous and turned the other two against me. They all stopped talking to me. 6 months later sure enough they realized she was full of [crap] and tried making amends with me but I couldn’t get over how quickly and easily they all turned on me so I just did my own thing.”

In group friendships, a single discord can send ripples through the collective, creating divides and taking sides. It’s a fragile ecosystem where trust can be easily broken, and mending it becomes a complex, sometimes impossible task, urging a step back to preserve individual peace.

21. Constant Judgement

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“The constant judgment and comments wore me down ‘OMG I would never let my nails get like yours.’”

A friendship marred by incessant judgment about appearance or choices becomes a breeding ground for insecurity and resentment. It’s a toxic pattern that erodes the joy and trust in the relationship, often signaling the need for a fresh start away from the critical eyes.

Friendships that Bind Us

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According to a study that analyzed the social lives of 2,000 people, an individual forms approximately 29 real friendships throughout their life. However, on average, a mere six of these friendships stand the test of time. This data paints a picture of relationships’ natural ebb and flow, illustrating that it is a common experience to see friendships dissolve as time passes.

A significant highlight from the research is the “three and a half years rule.” Maintaining contact with a friend over this period generally indicates a friendship that will last, a hopeful note suggesting that time indeed tests the strength of a bond.

Moreover, the study brings a message of hope. It found that over a third of individuals who took the initiative to reconnect with lost friends and family successfully rekindled the relationship. This finding is a gentle reminder that while some friendships fade, others may be paused, waiting for the right moment to resume.

As we navigate the complex and sometimes painful journey of friendships, this research offers a beacon of hope, encouraging us to cherish the friendships that last and to remain open to the possibility of reconnecting with old friends.

More from Viral Chatter

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Modern dating is a complex web of expectations, preferences, and sometimes, the most unexpected deal-breakers.

In a recent incident that has taken the internet by storm, a woman’s decision to walk out on a date over a seemingly trivial matter has sparked a widespread debate on dating etiquette, personal values, and the cost of cheese.

She’s Angry: Girlfriend Being Prioritized Over “Girl Friend”

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Friendships formed in childhood often become set in stone. Best friends forever.

But once life starts getting in the way, the building blocks to those friendships may begin to chip away.

For this one Redditor, she expressed hurt when her relationship with her best friend started to change when he got a girlfriend.

The OP (original poster), was looking to know whether she is the a****le in her fight with her best friend.

Sources

sources 1 2
Image Credit: Krakenimages.com/DepositPhotos.
  1. her.ie/life/prepare-to-lose-some-friends-new-study-shows-only-six-will-last-the-distance-177276
  2. reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/15qhzfy/what_pushed_you_away_from_your_exbest_friend/

This article was produced and syndicated by Viral Chatter.

Martha A. Lavallie
Martha A. Lavallie
Author & Editor | + posts

Martha is a journalist with close to a decade of experience in uncovering and reporting on the most compelling stories of our time. Passionate about staying ahead of the curve, she specializes in shedding light on trending topics and captivating global narratives. Her insightful articles have garnered acclaim, making her a trusted voice in today's dynamic media landscape.