9 Types of People You Should Think Twice Before Trusting

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, yet it’s a fragile bond that can be easily broken. According to the Pew Research Center, Americans’ trust in each other has been steadily declining over the last couple of decades.¹

In a world where social media influencers carefully curate their image and “fake news” runs rampant, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to know who to trust. Like a real-life game of “Among Us,” you may find yourself questioning the motives of those around you.

By learning to spot the red flags and trust your instincts, you can navigate the treacherous waters of human interaction with confidence. Watch out for these 9 types of people who may not be as trustworthy as they seem:

1. The Self-Deceiver

Watch out for those whose self-perception is wildly inconsistent with reality. When someone’s description of themselves clashes with their actual behavior, it’s a major red flag that they can’t be trusted.

For example, the colleague who constantly describes herself as quiet and harmony-seeking, while her actions are disruptive, arrogant and confrontational. This disconnect between words and deeds should raise your suspicions about her trustworthiness.

2. The Projector

Untrustworthy people have an uncanny habit of accusing others of the very misdeeds they themselves are guilty of or contemplating. Pay close attention when someone repeatedly pins patently false accusations on you – chances are, they’re projecting their own untrustworthy tendencies.

Trying to rehabilitate pathologically untrustworthy people is often a fool’s errand. Their actions may disappoint and hurt others, but ultimately they are mostly undermining themselves with their distorted perceptions shaped from an early age.

3. The Confidentiality Breacher

Steer clear of anyone who swears you to secrecy, only to then rationalize breaking that promise by saying they “only told one other person.” If they can’t be trusted to keep sensitive information to themselves, they have no business being privy to it.

Even worse are those who share your private information and intimate details with others in order to bond with them. A trustworthy person understands the sanctity of confidentiality and would never violate it for personal gain or social capital.

4. The Jealous Saboteur

Beware the “friend” who gets jealous rather than joyful about your successes and achievements. Instead of being the wind beneath your wings, they may try to clip them out of envy and insecurity.

These types often try to deflect from their own untrustworthiness by putting you on the defensive. As the saying goes, be wary of the “naked man offering you his shirt” – if they’re positioning themselves as superior while insisting on schooling you in trustworthiness, they doth protest too much.

5. The Eternal “Teacher”

Alarm bells should ring if someone always insists on being the teacher, never the student. Using a teaching role solely to appear superior, while refusing to ever be humble, learn from others, or take advice, is a hallmark of an untrustworthy person.

Truly wise people understand that there is always more to learn. Having to constantly validate someone as good, smart, and superior just to avoid their bad moods is an unhealthy and untrustworthy dynamic.

6. The Future Faker

Those who make grandiose promises about an amazing future together that never seem to materialize are engaging in “future faking” to string you along. Don’t fall for it.

A pattern of broken commitments and misaligned words and actions is a clear sign someone can’t be trusted. You can’t build a solid relationship on a foundation of empty promises.

7. The Unreliable Flake

Untrustworthy people demonstrate time and again that they are unreliable, flaky, and inconsistent in their actions. They only show up when they need something, and think nothing of leaving you in the lurch.

Trust is built on dependability. When someone proves repeatedly that they cannot be counted on, believe them. Don’t get sucked in by their excuses and rationalizations.

8. The Shameless Gossip

Be highly suspicious of people who always seem to have cruel things to say about everyone in their life behind their backs. If they betray their inner circle by speaking negatively about them, they’ll likely throw you under the bus too.

Ethical people talk directly to those they have issues with rather than spreading nasty gossip and rumors. Beware of those who try to bond with you by sharing juicy criticisms of others.

9. The Unrepentant Narcissist

Narcissists will flatly deny any involvement in problems or wrongdoing, often to a disturbing degree. They adamantly refuse to apologize and will instead attack you for daring to suggest they did anything wrong.

Trustworthy people take accountability for their actions. They own their mistakes and make amends. An inability to ever apologize is a glaring red flag of an untrustworthy narcissist.

The key is to discern whether someone has proven themselves trustworthy enough to be part of your inner circle. Take your time getting to know people and watch for consistent patterns, not just one-off incidents. Trust your gut if something feels off. 

Source:
1. Pew Research Center