“Avoidants = Covert Narcissists. Run!”: 7 Relationship Characteristics of Avoidant Attachment Style

In our interconnected world, understanding the intricacies of human behavior is essential, especially in the realm of relationships. One such behavior, the Avoidant Attachment Style, has recently gained attention through a popular social media video.

We delve into the characteristics and behaviors associated with this attachment style, shedding light on its impact on relationships and the importance of recognizing and addressing it.

What Is Avoidant Attachment Style?

The avoidant attachment style involves a reluctance to form deep emotional connections and a tendency to seek intensity outside the relationship. Individuals with this style may display emotional guardedness and a preference for independence.

Expressing affection and engaging in emotional intimacy can be challenging for them. They often invest significant time and energy in external activities to avoid emotional closeness.

Trust issues and fear of dependency are common challenges for those with an avoidant attachment style. However, awareness of these patterns can lead to personal growth and healthier relationships.

1. Fear of Intimacy

Individuals with an Avoidant Attachment Style often struggle to form intimate connections in their relationships due to a fear of intimacy.

They resist emotional closeness and vulnerability, fearing potential loss or engulfment. Instead, they seek intensity outside of their relationships to avoid emotional intimacy. This fear stems from their attachment history and early life experiences, leading them to believe that emotional openness puts them at risk of being hurt or abandoned.

Overcoming this fear requires self-awareness, therapy, and a commitment to challenging and addressing attachment patterns, leading to more profound and fulfilling connections.

2. Resistance to Professional Help

Individuals with an avoidant attachment style often resist seeking professional help or therapy due to their desire for control and self-reliance. This resistance hinders their ability to address underlying issues and seek guidance for relationship challenges.

It stems from a fear of compromising their autonomy and potential judgment or rejection. However, overcoming this resistance is crucial for personal growth and healthier relationships.

Embracing professional assistance, individuals can explore their attachment patterns, gain insight into their emotions, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

3. Poor Communication Skills

Effective communication is crucial for healthy relationships, but individuals with an Avoidant Attachment Style struggle to express their needs and emotions openly. This leads to misunderstandings, conflict, and frustration in relationships. Their difficulty expressing emotions hinders emotional intimacy and creates a sense of distance.

Conflict resolution becomes challenging as they struggle to communicate their perspectives and emotions.

4. Hyper Self-Dependency

Hyper self-dependency is when an individual heavily relies on themselves for emotional support, often hesitant to seek comfort from others, including their partners. This self-reliance can strain relationships as partners may feel shut out or unimportant.

Prioritizing self-dependency, the individual may hinder the depth and intimacy of their bond with their partner, leading to a sense of disconnection.

Finding a balance between self-sufficiency and interdependence is crucial for a healthy relationship, as it allows for emotional connection and mutual care.

5. Controlling and Critical Behaviors

Avoidant individuals often display controlling and critical behaviors in their relationships, seeking to maintain power and control. This behavior can create a toxic dynamic, eroding trust and emotional connection.

They frequently criticize their partners’ actions or choices due to fear of losing control. The constant criticism can negatively affect both partners, leading to diminished self-worth and strained trust.

Addressing these behaviors through open communication and seeking professional help is crucial to foster a healthier and more secure relationship.

6. Secrecy & Limited Transparency

Individuals with attachment problems often exhibit secrecy and limited transparency in their relationships.

They guard their emotions and personal information, including their past, thoughts, and current activities. This behavior creates a sense of distance and mistrust, leaving their partners feeling shut out and uninformed.

Lack of openness hinders effective communication and prevents the establishment of trust and intimacy. Addressing this issue requires creating a safe and non-judgmental environment, practicing patience and empathy, and seeking professional help.

7. Limited Physical Affection

Individuals with avoidant attachment styles struggle with expressing and receiving physical affection. They feel uncomfortable with displays of affection like hugging, kissing, or holding hands.

This little physical intimacy can make their partners feel emotionally disconnected and unfulfilled. The discomfort with closeness often stems from a fear of dependency and vulnerability.

Building a secure and fulfilling relationship with an avoidantly attached partner requires open communication, understanding, and a willingness to find a balance that respects both parties’ boundaries.

Opinions from Viewers

Comments on the video discussing Avoidant Attachment Style reflect various personal experiences and perspectives.

One commenter observed,

“Avoidants=covert narcissists. Run!” suggesting a connection between avoidants and covert narcissism.”

Another commenter expressed confusion about their partner’s behavior, stating,

“It’s so confusing to me how he could emotionally cheat but couldn’t be physically or emotionally intimate with me. It was insane to me”

The sentiment that avoidants tend to be secretive is echoed in a comment that states,

“They will make sure they know everything about you but will hide their lives from you”

Several individuals resonated with the video, sharing personal experiences, such as, “This is spot on with my ex”.

Lastly, a commenter acknowledged their self-awareness, saying,

“I’ve always known these things about myself. I felt I was normal. I was not. I’m going to make an effort to change.”

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Sources

@kennyweisskw Signs of an Avoidant Attachment Style – The first characteristic of a love avoidant is that they don't want intimacy within the relationship because they're seeking intensity outside the relationship. They're resistant to professional help, hyper-self-dependent, poor at communicating, and limit their physical affection. #attachmentstyles #avoidantattachmentstyle #relationshiptips #couplestherapy #couplesoftiktok #fyp ♬ original sound – Kenny Weiss