“Avoidants = Covert Narcissists. Run!”: 7 Relationship Characteristics of Avoidant Attachment Style

In our interconnected world, understanding the intricacies of human behavior is essential, especially in the realm of relationships. One such behavior, the Avoidant Attachment Style, has recently gained attention through a popular social media video.

We delve into the characteristics and behaviors associated with this attachment style, shedding light on its impact on relationships and the importance of recognizing and addressing it.

What Is Avoidant Attachment Style?

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The avoidant attachment style involves a reluctance to form deep emotional connections and a tendency to seek intensity outside the relationship. Individuals with this style may display emotional guardedness and a preference for independence.

Expressing affection and engaging in emotional intimacy can be challenging for them. They often invest significant time and energy in external activities to avoid emotional closeness.

Trust issues and fear of dependency are common challenges for those with an avoidant attachment style. However, awareness of these patterns can lead to personal growth and healthier relationships.

1. Fear of Intimacy

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Individuals with an Avoidant Attachment Style often struggle to form intimate connections in their relationships due to a fear of intimacy.

They resist emotional closeness and vulnerability, fearing potential loss or engulfment. Instead, they seek intensity outside of their relationships to avoid emotional intimacy. This fear stems from their attachment history and early life experiences, leading them to believe that emotional openness puts them at risk of being hurt or abandoned.

Overcoming this fear requires self-awareness, therapy, and a commitment to challenging and addressing attachment patterns, leading to more profound and fulfilling connections.

2. Resistance to Professional Help

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Individuals with an avoidant attachment style often resist seeking professional help or therapy due to their desire for control and self-reliance. This resistance hinders their ability to address underlying issues and seek guidance for relationship challenges.

It stems from a fear of compromising their autonomy and potential judgment or rejection. However, overcoming this resistance is crucial for personal growth and healthier relationships.

Embracing professional assistance, individuals can explore their attachment patterns, gain insight into their emotions, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

3. Poor Communication Skills

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Effective communication is crucial for healthy relationships, but individuals with an Avoidant Attachment Style struggle to express their needs and emotions openly. This leads to misunderstandings, conflict, and frustration in relationships. Their difficulty expressing emotions hinders emotional intimacy and creates a sense of distance.

Conflict resolution becomes challenging as they struggle to communicate their perspectives and emotions.

4. Hyper Self-Dependency

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Hyper self-dependency is when an individual heavily relies on themselves for emotional support, often hesitant to seek comfort from others, including their partners. This self-reliance can strain relationships as partners may feel shut out or unimportant.

Prioritizing self-dependency, the individual may hinder the depth and intimacy of their bond with their partner, leading to a sense of disconnection.

Finding a balance between self-sufficiency and interdependence is crucial for a healthy relationship, as it allows for emotional connection and mutual care.

5. Controlling and Critical Behaviors

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Avoidant individuals often display controlling and critical behaviors in their relationships, seeking to maintain power and control. This behavior can create a toxic dynamic, eroding trust and emotional connection.

They frequently criticize their partners’ actions or choices due to fear of losing control. The constant criticism can negatively affect both partners, leading to diminished self-worth and strained trust.

Addressing these behaviors through open communication and seeking professional help is crucial to foster a healthier and more secure relationship.

6. Secrecy & Limited Transparency

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Individuals with attachment problems often exhibit secrecy and limited transparency in their relationships.

They guard their emotions and personal information, including their past, thoughts, and current activities. This behavior creates a sense of distance and mistrust, leaving their partners feeling shut out and uninformed.

Lack of openness hinders effective communication and prevents the establishment of trust and intimacy. Addressing this issue requires creating a safe and non-judgmental environment, practicing patience and empathy, and seeking professional help.

7. Limited Physical Affection

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Individuals with avoidant attachment styles struggle with expressing and receiving physical affection. They feel uncomfortable with displays of affection like hugging, kissing, or holding hands.

This little physical intimacy can make their partners feel emotionally disconnected and unfulfilled. The discomfort with closeness often stems from a fear of dependency and vulnerability.

Building a secure and fulfilling relationship with an avoidantly attached partner requires open communication, understanding, and a willingness to find a balance that respects both parties’ boundaries.

Opinions from Viewers

Understanding Avoidant Attachment Style in Relationships
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Comments on the video discussing Avoidant Attachment Style reflect various personal experiences and perspectives.

One commenter observed,

“Avoidants=covert narcissists. Run!” suggesting a connection between avoidants and covert narcissism.”

Another commenter expressed confusion about their partner’s behavior, stating,

“It’s so confusing to me how he could emotionally cheat but couldn’t be physically or emotionally intimate with me. It was insane to me”

The sentiment that avoidants tend to be secretive is echoed in a comment that states,

“They will make sure they know everything about you but will hide their lives from you”

Several individuals resonated with the video, sharing personal experiences, such as, “This is spot on with my ex”.

Lastly, a commenter acknowledged their self-awareness, saying,

“I’ve always known these things about myself. I felt I was normal. I was not. I’m going to make an effort to change.”

More from Viral Chatter

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Are you curious about the wisdom that comes with age? Do you wonder what life lessons you might learn from those who have walked the path before you?

We’ll delve into a thread where Redditors aged 50+ share their insights on life. We also incorporate findings from various psychological and health studies to provide a well-rounded perspective.

Here are ten key takeaways that could enrich your life and positively impact your outlook.

7 Uncomfortable Truths About Life That Foster Wisdom and Self-Discovery

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Life is an amazing adventure, filled with times of happiness, tough hurdles, and chances to learn about ourselves.

These experiences offer precious lessons, helping us see life’s complexities better and showing us how to develop and find wisdom.

These lessons guide us toward becoming better, more enlightened individuals on our journey through life.


@kennyweisskw Signs of an Avoidant Attachment Style – The first characteristic of a love avoidant is that they don't want intimacy within the relationship because they're seeking intensity outside the relationship. They're resistant to professional help, hyper-self-dependent, poor at communicating, and limit their physical affection. #attachmentstyles #avoidantattachmentstyle #relationshiptips #couplestherapy #couplesoftiktok #fyp ♬ original sound – Kenny Weiss

Martha A. Lavallie
Martha A. Lavallie
Author & Editor | + posts

Martha is a journalist with close to a decade of experience in uncovering and reporting on the most compelling stories of our time. Passionate about staying ahead of the curve, she specializes in shedding light on trending topics and captivating global narratives. Her insightful articles have garnered acclaim, making her a trusted voice in today's dynamic media landscape.