Turning 18 is a significant milestone in many cultures, marking the transition from adolescence to adulthood. However, in some families, this age also signifies the time for the young adult to leave the family home.
But what drives parents to make such a decision? Here’s a look at the types of parents who might choose this path, based on the shared experiences of various individuals:
1. Absent by Choice
Some parents consciously distance themselves from their children’s lives. Imagine being evicted at 16, only to later discover your mother had relocated to a distant island without notice.
Such absences can leave emotional voids, making the transition to adulthood even more challenging.
2. Societal Pressure Respondents
There are parents who might have had children due to societal pressures or obligations rather than a genuine desire to nurture and raise a child. Such parents may feel that their responsibility ends once the child reaches legal adulthood.
3. Financially Burdened Guardians
Economic hardships can profoundly impact family dynamics. High school students should not be forced to abandon education to pay the rent demanded by their mothers.
Such financial strains can lead to premature responsibilities, hindering the child’s growth and opportunities.
4. Advocates of Tough Love
Some parents believe in the philosophy of “tough love,” thinking that by pushing their children out of the nest, they are teaching them independence and resilience.
However, this approach can often backfire, leading to resentment and strained relationships.
5. Parental Landlords
It’s disheartening to think that some parents view their children more as tenants than family.
These parents might expect their children to become financially independent immediately upon turning 18, treating them more like renters than family members.
6. Emotionally Distant Caretakers
Emotional detachment can stem from various reasons, including past traumas or personal struggles.
Such parents might find it easier to sever ties with their children once they reach a certain age, avoiding the emotional complexities of maintaining a relationship.
7. Retaliatory Protectors
In some unfortunate cases, parents might use the act of kicking out as a form of revenge or punishment for perceived misbehaviors or disagreements.
This can be particularly damaging to the child’s emotional well-being.
8. Overburdened Nurturers
Parenting is challenging, and some individuals might feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities, especially if they face personal issues like addiction or mental health challenges.
For these parents, asking their children to leave might be seen as a way to lessen their burdens.
Impact of Kicking Children Out at 18
The decision to ask a young adult to leave the family home at 18 can have a myriad of consequences, both positive and negative. Here are some of the impacts based on real-life experiences and studies.
Positive Impacts:
Fostering Independence: Some young adults, after initial resistance, eventually learn to navigate the challenges of adulthood, fostering a sense of independence and self-reliance.
Kicking your kids out can be beneficial to lead to a more mature relationship between parents and children.
Strengthened Relationships: Distance can sometimes mend strained relationships. Parents and children might find that time apart allows them to rebuild their bond, appreciating each other’s company without the daily conflicts.
Negative Impacts:
- Emotional Turmoil: Both parents and children can experience intense emotions ranging from anger and resentment to guilt and regret.
- Financial Strain: Young adults who are suddenly thrust into the world without adequate preparation may face financial hardships. They might struggle to pay for necessities, leading to potential homelessness or reliance on social services.
- Strained Relationships: The act of eviction can strain the parent-child relationship, sometimes causing long-term damage. It can lead to periods of estrangement, with both parties feeling hurt and misunderstood.
- Mental Health Concerns: The sudden loss of a support system can exacerbate mental health issues in young adults. Feelings of abandonment, rejection, and isolation can contribute to depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges.
- Life Skills Deficit: Young adults who haven’t been adequately prepared for independent living might lack essential life skills, from budgeting and cooking to time management and problem-solving.
- Early Adultification: According to a study[1], young individuals who are prematurely thrust into adult roles, often due to family conflicts or parental neglect, can experience “adultification.” This early transition can lead to a lack of support and guidance, exacerbating their challenges.
The decision to ask a child to leave home at 18 is multifaceted and deeply personal. While some parents believe they are doing what’s best for their child, the emotional and psychological impact on the young adult can be profound.
It’s crucial for parents to consider the long-term consequences of such decisions and to communicate openly with their children about their reasons and feelings.
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Sources
- ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4797323/
- reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/11artla/what_do_you_think_of_the_parents_that_kick_their/
This article was produced and syndicated by Viral Chatter. It was inspired by this video:
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Martha A. Lavallie
Martha is a journalist with close to a decade of experience in uncovering and reporting on the most compelling stories of our time. Passionate about staying ahead of the curve, she specializes in shedding light on trending topics and captivating global narratives. Her insightful articles have garnered acclaim, making her a trusted voice in today's dynamic media landscape.
