The idea that our personality is set in stone, unchanging like a plaster cast, is a common misconception.
Think back to your younger self—maybe you were more shy and timid, or perhaps you’ve grown more confident and outspoken with age.
A 2024 study now confirms what many of us have intuitively felt: our personalities are surprisingly flexible and can change over time.¹
Inner Workings of Personality Change
For almost two decades, studies have proven that personality can change, especially the “Big Five” traits: conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness, neuroticism, and extraversion.(ref)
The focus has now shifted to figuring out what causes these changes. Do our personalities evolve on their own as we mature, or are specific life events the catalysts?
And if life events are the triggers, which ones have the most impact?
Life Events are the Biggest Game Changers
In the 2024 study by Dr. Keely Dugan and her team at the University of Illinois, they took a closer look at how both big and small life events might change our personality.
The study followed almost 5,000 adults (around 35 years old on average) over a few years. They answered questions about their personality and different events that happened in their lives.
This study stood out by looking at 25 specific events. Not just big milestones like marriage, but also smaller things like “my partner did something special for me.” These events covered school, work, relationships, family, health, moving, and free time.
The Study’s Unique Approach
People also shared how they felt about each event – was it good or bad? Stressful? The study even looked at how people change before a big event, like getting ready for a wedding.
Most single events didn’t really change people’s personalities. But big things like marriage, divorce, having a baby, retiring, or getting demoted did have an effect. Even small, everyday events can make a difference, especially if they happen a lot. For example, a partner’s kind acts can build up over time and change someone’s personality, especially how much they worry (neuroticism).
Growing as a Person
The study notes that knowing that our personality can change is really helpful for growing as a person and building good relationships.
Big life events are important, but it’s the little things that happen every day that also shape who we are. Simple things like a partner’s kind gestures can make us happier and even change our personality over time.
Your Feelings & Expectations Matter
How we see and expect things to be also plays a big role. Thinking positively about something stressful can lessen its impact. And getting excited about a good event can make it even better for us.
Looking back at how you’ve changed (like becoming more responsible), it’s clear that it’s not just the big events that matter. It’s also the little things that happen every day, along with those big moments, that make us who we are.
You’re Not Stuck
The bottom line? Thanks to the study’s findings, we’re not stuck with the personality we’re born with or the one we had when we were young. We can grow and change as life goes on.
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Nancy Maffia
Nancy received a bachelor’s in biology from Elmira College and a master’s degree in horticulture and communications from the University of Kentucky. Worked in plant taxonomy at the University of Florida and the L. H. Bailey Hortorium at Cornell University, and wrote and edited gardening books at Rodale Press in Emmaus, PA. Her interests are plant identification, gardening, hiking, and reading.
