MIL Orders Early Dinner at Wedding to Make It the Wedding She Wanted: 6 Tips for Couples

In the world of wedding ceremonies, a fine line exists between adhering to traditions and accommodating individual preferences. But what happens when this line is crossed, not by a distant relative or an uninvited guest but by someone much closer?

A bride faced an unforeseen breach of etiquette when her mother-in-law ordered meals before the newlyweds arrived at the restaurant.

Wedding Planning

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The couple, a 29-year-old woman and her 31-year-old husband decided to have a small and intimate wedding ceremony attended by close family and friends.

The planning process was meticulous, with the couple going to great lengths to ensure that the event remained true to their vision, including limiting the information shared with the in-laws.

The couple also actively refused every time the in-laws tried to pay for the wedding just to avoid them trying to control any detail of the wedding. “This was a lifesaver since MIL assumed if she could pay- she could make it the wedding she wanted.

We squashed that pretty fast and told our coordinator not to accept anything from her.”

The Dinner Arrangement

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Following the ceremony, a dinner was organized at a reputed restaurant where a limited menu, carefully selected by the couple, was to be served. The couple had informed the guests that they would arrive slightly later at the venue as the bride wanted to change into a more comfortable attire for the dinner.

Food for the Family

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Upon arriving at the restaurant, the bride found that her mother-in-law had already ordered food for themselves, leaving the other guests waiting.

The mother-in-law cited impatience as the reason for their actions, stating that they ordered what she knew their side of the family wanted and that the couple could do as they wished upon arrival.

Frowned Upon Incident

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The incident did not sit well with several guests, who voiced their disapproval, noting that it was in bad taste to order before the arrival of the bride and groom. The couple, although taken aback, chose to maintain peace and not escalate the matter further on their special day.

The mother-in-law was offended by some of the comments about her and was even told by the bride’s side of the family to wait for the couple before ordering. But, “she thinks this isn’t a big deal.”

Breach of Etiquette

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One commenter under the post highlighted the breach of etiquette, stating that the wedding day is the one time you expect to be served first, criticizing the mother-in-law and others who ordered before the couple for their bad manners.

The Restaurant’s Role

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Another person criticized the restaurant’s role in the incident, expressing that they should have sought the couple’s permission before allowing the in-laws to order, suggesting that the couple should have lodged a complaint and received a discount.

Not Overreacting

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Many agreed that the couple was not overreacting, with one commenter noting the extreme rudeness and entitlement displayed by the in-laws, wondering who would order dinner without considering others in such a setting.

Call for No Contact

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Some even suggested that the couple should go no contact with the mother-in-law, describing her actions as a personal affront on their wedding day, and urging them to communicate their feelings to the rest of the family to explain a potential limited contact with them in the future.

A Minor Infraction

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However, some considered the reaction to be somewhat excessive, pointing out that while the behavior was rude, it was relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, and did not involve any harm or abuse, just basic rudeness.

Wedding Etiquette

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According to an article by Jaimie Mackey on Brides, one of the primary responsibilities of the couple hosting the wedding is to ensure the comfort and enjoyment of their guests. This involves a careful consideration of the guest list, attire recommendations, and ensuring everyone feels at home.

In the context of the incident, it would have been prudent for the in-laws to wait for the couple before ordering, respecting the couple’s role as hosts and the special occasion that the wedding represents.

The article also touches upon the importance of clear communication between the couple and their guests to avoid misunderstandings and ensure a harmonious celebration.

6 Tips for Couples

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In the aftermath of the recent wedding dinner incident where the in-laws ordered meals before the bride and groom arrived, it becomes essential for couples to foster a harmonious environment during their special occasions. Here are some tips that might help in avoiding such misunderstandings in the future:

1. Active Listening

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Encourage open and honest communication with all involved parties before the event. Make it a point to understand and respect each other’s perspectives to avoid any kind of miscommunication, such as the one that led to the premature ordering of meals.

2. Perception Check

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Before reacting to a situation, it is advisable to check the perceptions and intentions of others involved. In the context of the wedding dinner, a perception check could have helped in understanding the reason behind the in-laws’ actions and possibly preventing the misunderstanding.

3. Avoid Assumptions

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It is essential not to assume the reactions of others based on past experiences. Giving individuals the benefit of the doubt can sometimes prevent unforeseen issues. For instance, the couple could have clarified the dinner arrangements clearly to avoid any assumptions from the guests.

4. State Your Needs Clearly

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Clearly articulating the plans and expectations for the event can help in avoiding misunderstandings. The couple might have benefited from stating the dinner protocols clearly to all guests, ensuring everyone was on the same page.

5. Allow Room for Compromise

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In situations where misunderstandings occur, being open to compromise can help in maintaining harmony. Despite the initial hiccup, the couple chose to maintain peace, showcasing a willingness to compromise for the greater good.

6. Stay on Topic

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If discussions arise from misunderstandings, it is beneficial to stay focused on resolving the issue at hand rather than diverging into other topics, ensuring a smooth resolution and a pleasant experience for everyone.

Implementing these strategies can help couples navigate the complex dynamics of relationships and ensure a smoother, more understanding, and respectful interaction, not just between them but also with their families and guests during significant life events such as weddings.

It promotes a celebration that is respectful and considerate to all, honoring the sanctity of the occasion.

More from Viral Chatter

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When it comes to hosting their wedding celebrations, some celebrities prefer to keep things low-key while others take a “go big or go home” approach.

Even for regular folks who aren’t in the public eye, there’s pressure to ensure everything is just right for the special occasion.

So when money’s no object—the bar tends to be raised even higher.

Woman Asserts: Single People Shouldn’t Feel Obligated To Buy Wedding Gifts

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In recent times, societal norms and traditions have been under scrutiny, and one such tradition that has sparked debate is the expectation for single people to give wedding gifts.

A social media influencer has ignited this conversation by suggesting that single individuals should not feel obligated to buy wedding presents.


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This article was produced and syndicated by Viral Chatter.

Martha A. Lavallie
Martha A. Lavallie
Author & Editor | + posts

Martha is a journalist with close to a decade of experience in uncovering and reporting on the most compelling stories of our time. Passionate about staying ahead of the curve, she specializes in shedding light on trending topics and captivating global narratives. Her insightful articles have garnered acclaim, making her a trusted voice in today's dynamic media landscape.