“No, You Can’t Hold My Baby” Parents Refusing Other People to Hold Their Newborn

Babies are one of life’s precious miracles. So, when a baby is born in the family, other members would want an opportunity to hold the baby. But, for one couple, letting other people hold their baby is causing some misunderstandings.

A Reddit user asked the community if he was an a***ole for not letting their sister-in-law hold their newborn. The wife became angry at the OP (original poster) because of this.

The OP shared that they recently brought home their beautiful baby. And when he wanted his 14-year-old son to hold their younger sibling, the wife refused. Her reason was she wasn’t “comfortable with anyone but us holding the baby yet.” 

Even though the OP was against it, they respected the wife’s wishes and understood that she may be anxious about how vulnerable the baby is.

When the wife’s sister came over, she wanted to hold the baby. The OP refused and told her about the agreement with the wife about how they were uncomfortable about anyone else holding the baby besides them. But, then the wife said it was fine for her sister to hold the baby, that her sister was “a special case.”

The OP was firm and still refused to let the sister-in-law hold the baby. She got offended and left after that. Now, the wife is angry at the OP for being an a***ole to the sister-in-law. But, the OP still thinks that they were just being consistent.

Evil Stepmother or Postpartum Hormones?

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Illustration. Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

The OP clarified in one of the comments that the 14-year-old was not the wife’s son. After this was mentioned, the commenters were suspicious of the wife’s treatment of her stepson. 

“Sounds like your wife resents your son to some degree. It’s not that people can’t hold your baby, it’s that your son can’t.”

The relationship between the wife and the son is “a little awkward,” the OP says. The wife claims that she doesn’t know how to talk to teenagers.

Another Redditor said, “Please, hear me out. Your wife has disdain for your son. It will become more prevalent now that HER REAL child is here.”

This attitude towards the son is concerning to some Redditors about the future family dynamic. “The change in the household has brought these problems to light. Your wife and son don’t have a good relationship and it’s affecting the bonding of your son to his sibling. 

It’s imperative that they develop a better relationship, so I suggest therapy for her, for everyone, or maybe the two of them. Otherwise, your problems are just getting started.”

While the majority of the comments believe that the wife may be harboring a dislike towards the OP’s son, some think she might just be hormonal. Giving birth messes up a woman’s emotions, so others think the wife might be emotional and her mind is all over the place.

Parents Should Be Partners

The commenters also pointed out the OP trying to “get revenge” on the wife by refusing to let the sister-in-law hold the baby after the son was also refused.

“A healthy relationship involves supporting the other partner and not ‘sniping’ back at them or intentionally interpreting their words in a way that lets you hurt them. Particularly the day or two after giving birth.”

This incident is a family issue that could turn sour in the long run, so proper communication is important. “You need to have an actual conversation with your wife about this instead of being passive-aggressive. 

If she specifically doesn’t want your son to hold the baby for some reason, she needs to be honest about that and discuss it with you.”

Source: Reddit



Martha A. Lavallie
Martha A. Lavallie
Author & Editor | + posts

Martha is a journalist with close to a decade of experience in uncovering and reporting on the most compelling stories of our time. Passionate about staying ahead of the curve, she specializes in shedding light on trending topics and captivating global narratives. Her insightful articles have garnered acclaim, making her a trusted voice in today's dynamic media landscape.