Pets have become integral members of many households, with 66% of U.S. households owning at least one pet.1 Studies have highlighted the profound impact these furry companions can have on our mental health and well-being.
A 2023 poll by the American Psychiatric Association found that 86% of pet owners reported a positive impact on their mental health from their pets.2
We love our furry friends, but sometimes well-meaning comments can rub pet parents the wrong way. Whether you’re a fellow animal lover or just trying to make conversation, these 18 phrases can come across as insensitive or judgmental.
1. “It’s just a dog/cat”
Pets are family members to their owners. Dismissing the bond between a person and their animal companion can be deeply hurtful. This statement undermines the emotional connection and years of shared experiences.
For many, pets provide unconditional love, companionship, and support. Referring to them as “just” an animal fails to recognize the significant role they play in their owners’ lives. It’s essential to respect the depth of these relationships.
2. “When are you going to have kids instead?”
This question implies that pets are merely a substitute for children. It’s presumptuous and can be offensive to those who choose pets over kids or struggle with fertility issues. Many pet owners consider their animals to be their children.
Comparing pets to human children is unnecessary and often unwelcome. Some people prefer the companionship of animals, while others may have both pets and children.
It’s best to avoid making assumptions about someone’s family planning choices.
3. “I could never spend that much on an animal”
Commenting on how much someone spends on their pet is tactless. Pet care costs vary widely, and owners prioritize their animals’ needs differently. This statement can make people feel judged for their financial choices.
Many pet owners view expenses for their animals as essential, not frivolous. From medical care to high-quality food, these costs are part of responsible pet ownership. It’s best to avoid criticizing how others allocate their resources.
4. “You let your dog sleep in your bed?”
Sleeping arrangements are a personal choice for pet owners. Questioning this decision can come across as judgmental and intrusive. Many people find comfort and security in sharing their bed with their pets.
Research has shown that sleeping with pets can have psychological benefits for some owners. (ref) It’s not unhygienic or unusual as some might assume.
Unless you’re a veterinarian offering medical advice, it’s best to keep opinions on sleep habits to yourself.
5. “Your house must be so dirty”
This comment implies that having pets automatically means living in filth. It’s insulting to pet owners who work hard to maintain a clean home. Many pet owners are meticulous about cleanliness and hygiene.
Modern pet care products and regular grooming routines make it entirely possible to have a spotless home with pets. Assuming otherwise is both rude and inaccurate.
It’s better to compliment a clean home if you notice it rather than express surprise.
6. “Why don’t you just train them better?”
Pet behavior is complex and influenced by many factors. This statement oversimplifies the challenges of animal training and can be hurtful to owners who are trying their best.
It assumes that all behavioral issues are due to poor training.
Every pet is unique, with its own personality and background. Some animals may have trauma or health issues that affect their behavior.
Instead of criticizing, offer support or ask if the owner needs any help with their pet.
7. “You should get rid of your pet now that you have a baby”
Suggesting someone give up their pet when they have a child is insensitive and unnecessary. Many families successfully integrate pets and babies. This advice ignores the strong bond between owners and their animals.
With proper precautions and introductions, pets and babies can coexist happily and safely.
8. “Your dog is so badly behaved”
Criticizing someone’s pet’s behavior is a quick way to offend. Pets, like humans, have good days and bad days. This comment fails to consider that the animal might be dealing with stress, fear, or health issues.
Instead of judging, try to be understanding. If you have concerns about a pet’s behavior, approach the topic gently and privately with the owner. Remember, most pet parents are doing their best to manage their animal’s conduct.
9. “Why did you choose that breed/species?”
Questioning someone’s choice of pet can come across as judgmental.
People select their pets for various reasons, including compatibility with their lifestyle, personal preferences, or rescue opportunities. This query often leads to uncomfortable explanations.
Every animal deserves a loving home, regardless of its breed or species. Instead of questioning their choice, show interest in learning more about their pet’s unique qualities and the joy it brings to their life.
10. “You’re too attached to your pet”
Suggesting that someone is overly attached to their pet dismisses the depth of the human-animal bond. For many, pets are a source of comfort, companionship, and unconditional love.
This statement can be particularly hurtful.
It’s not unhealthy to have a close relationship with a pet, and implying otherwise shows a lack of understanding.
11. “It’s cruel to keep your cat indoors”
This statement ignores the many valid reasons for keeping cats indoors, including safety concerns and local wildlife protection. Indoor cats can lead happy, healthy lives with proper stimulation and care.
It’s a personal and often well-researched decision.
Outdoor cats face numerous risks, including traffic, predators, and diseases. Many veterinarians and animal welfare organizations recommend keeping cats indoors.
Instead of criticizing, ask about how they keep their indoor cat entertained and engaged.
12. “Your pet is overweight; you should feed them less”
Commenting on a pet’s weight can be as sensitive as remarking on a person’s size. Pet owners are often aware of their animal’s health status and may be working with a vet on weight management.
This unsolicited advice can be hurtful and presumptuous.
Weight issues in pets can be complex, involving factors like age, breed, and medical conditions. Instead of offering judgment, express genuine interest in the pet’s well-being and trust that the owner is addressing any health concerns appropriately.
13. “Why don’t you just put them down?”
Suggesting euthanasia, especially for manageable health or behavioral issues, is incredibly insensitive.
Pet owners often go to great lengths to care for their animals and explore all options before considering end-of-life decisions. This comment can be deeply upsetting.
The choice to euthanize a pet is intensely personal and often agonizing for owners. It’s never appropriate for an outsider to suggest this option casually.
If an owner is struggling with a pet’s health, offer support and empathy instead of proposing drastic measures.
14. “I don’t understand why people have pets”
Expressing a lack of understanding about pet ownership can come across as dismissive of the joy and companionship animals bring to many people’s lives. This statement can make pet owners feel judged or misunderstood.
It’s okay not to want pets yourself, but it’s important to respect others’ choices.
Pets provide numerous benefits to their owners, including stress relief, increased physical activity, and social support. Instead of questioning the value of pet ownership, try to appreciate the positive impact animals have on many people’s well-being.
15. “Your pet smells”
Commenting on a pet’s odor is both rude and unhelpful. Most pet owners are aware of their animal’s scent and take steps to manage it. This remark can be embarrassing and make people feel self-conscious about having animals in their homes.
Different pets have different natural odors, and some breeds are known for being more pungent than others.
If you’re genuinely concerned about a strong smell, it’s better to privately and tactfully ask the owner if everything is okay with their pet’s health.
16. “You should breed your pet”
Encouraging someone to breed their pet without knowing their stance on animal reproduction is presumptuous. Many pet owners choose to spay or neuter their animals for health and population control reasons.
This suggestion can be at odds with their ethical beliefs.
Breeding animals responsibly requires extensive knowledge, resources, and commitment. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly or suggested casually.
Instead, praise the owner for taking good care of their pet and respecting their choices regarding breeding.
17. “Your pet is so old, why don’t you get a new one?”
Suggesting that someone replace an aging pet is insensitive to the deep bond formed over years of companionship.
Senior pets often require special care and attention, which their owners lovingly provide. This comment disregards the value of older animals.
Many people find great joy and fulfillment in caring for senior pets. These animals often have calm, gentle personalities and a lifetime of love to give.
Instead of proposing replacement, show interest in how the owner is managing their pet’s golden years.
18. “You shouldn’t humanize your pet so much”
Accusing someone of over-humanizing their pet fails to recognize the complex emotional relationships people form with their animals. Many pet owners view their furry friends as family members, and this bond doesn’t diminish the animal’s nature. It’s a personal approach to pet care.
Instead of criticizing, try to understand and appreciate the unique relationship each person has with their pet.
The bond between pets and their owners is a deeply personal and often profound relationship. By avoiding these 18 phrases, we can foster more respectful and empathetic interactions with pet owners.
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Nancy Maffia
Nancy received a bachelor’s in biology from Elmira College and a master’s degree in horticulture and communications from the University of Kentucky. Worked in plant taxonomy at the University of Florida and the L. H. Bailey Hortorium at Cornell University, and wrote and edited gardening books at Rodale Press in Emmaus, PA. Her interests are plant identification, gardening, hiking, and reading.
