Religious Parents Embarrassed By Son Living With Fiancee Before Marriage Gets A Taste of Their Own Medicine

Have you ever been in a situation where family gatherings become a battleground for personal beliefs and judgments?

For one man, a Christmas dinner took an unexpected turn, revealing deep-seated family secrets and challenging the very foundations of tradition and morality.

The Family Gathering

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A man, who is a nurse practitioner, specializes in low-risk maternity cases. He’s deeply involved in ensuring the health and well-being of mothers and their newborns.

Living with his fiancée, who is completing her residency, they’ve been together for years without tying the knot. This has been a bone of contention for his deeply religious parents, who believe in the sanctity of marriage before cohabitation.

Christmas, a time for family and joy, saw seventeen members of the family congregating at the parents’ house.

The atmosphere was thick with anticipation, not just for the festivities but also for the underlying tension that had been building up over the years.

A Discussion on Morality

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As the family sat down for dinner, the topic of the couple’s impending marriage became the focal point. The parents expressed their relief, hinting at their embarrassment in their church community due to their son’s living arrangements.

The atmosphere grew tense as past judgments were brought up, with the parents praising their other children for adhering to traditional values.

The Premature Baby

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Seeking to divert the conversation and defend his fiancée’s honor, our protagonist began discussing a recent case of a premature baby he had come across.

This baby, born almost three months premature, was a beacon of hope, showing immense strength despite its early arrival. The story took a personal turn when he subtly inquired about his eldest brother’s birth records, hinting at a family secret.

Revealing Secrets

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The son was well aware that his eldest brother, supposedly born four months premature, weighed over 9 pounds at birth—a fact he had learned from his grandmother.

The implication was clear: the parents had their own “sinful” past, with the mother likely being in her second trimester when they got married.

An Eye for an Eye

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The dinner conversation quickly changed course. Later, the parents confronted their son, accusing him of airing private matters.

He retorted, stating that if they ever brought up his living situation again, he would not hesitate to remind them of their own past. While the parents were upset, the fiancée was relieved that the topic seemed to be put to rest for good.

Religious Perspective on Cohabitation

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Deeply rooted religious beliefs provide a contrasting viewpoint, emphasizing the sanctity of marriage and the moral implications of living together outside of this bond.

1. Higher Likelihood of Divorce

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Religious teachings often emphasize the sanctity and permanence of marriage. Some studies suggest that couples who live together before marriage have higher divorce rates.

The mindset of cohabitation, which offers an easy exit strategy, might carry over into marriage, making it easier for couples to consider separation when challenges arise.

2. Marriage as a Process of Sanctification

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From a religious standpoint, marriage is seen as a process that helps individuals grow spiritually and become more like their deity. Cohabitation, on the other hand, is often viewed as prioritizing compatibility over spiritual growth.

3. Separation of Sex from Covenant

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Many religious teachings emphasize that sexual relations should be reserved for marriage. Living together often involves sexual intimacy without the covenant of marriage, which is seen as giving oneself physically without the full commitment of marriage.

4. Violation of Religious Teachings

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Many religious texts explicitly condemn sexual relations outside of marriage. Living together before marriage is often associated with premarital sex, which is considered sinful in many religious traditions.

Modern Perspective on Cohabitation

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The modern world offers a lens of practicality and personal choice, emphasizing the benefits and reasons why couples today choose to live together before tying the knot.

1. Changing Social Norms

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In the past, cohabitation before marriage was taboo. However, modern times have seen a shift in this perspective. Between 1965 and 1974, only 11% of women lived with their partner before marriage.

This number rose to 69% between 2010 and 2013.

2. Economic Considerations

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Many couples choose to live together for economic reasons. Sharing living expenses can be more financially practical, especially in areas with high living costs.

3. Testing Compatibility

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Living together is seen by many as a way to test compatibility before making a lifelong commitment. It offers couples a chance to understand each other’s habits, preferences, and conflict resolution styles.

4. Shift in Relationship Milestones

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For many, cohabitation is now seen as a significant milestone in a relationship, a step between dating and marriage.

5. Economic Equality and Relationship Stability

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Modern studies suggest that economic equality in a relationship can promote stability. Couples where both partners earn similar amounts are more likely to get married, while those with significant income disparities are more likely to separate.

6. Evolving Views on Commitment

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The modern perspective often separates the idea of commitment from the institution of marriage. Many believe that it’s possible to be deeply committed to a partner without the legal or religious recognition of marriage.

Cohabitation in Modern Society

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Recent data from the Pew Research Center provides insights into the changing dynamics of relationships and the acceptance of cohabitation in the U.S.:

  1. Rising Cohabitation Rates: Among adults aged 18 to 44, 59% have lived with an unmarried partner at some point in their lives, while 50% have ever been married.
  2. Acceptance of Cohabitation: Most Americans (69%) find cohabitation acceptable even if a couple doesn’t plan to marry.
  3. Younger Generations More Accepting: About 78% of adults under 30 find it acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together without plans for marriage.
  4. Marriage vs. Cohabitation: Married adults express higher levels of relationship satisfaction and trust than those cohabiting.
  5. Cohabitation as a Step to Marriage: About two-thirds of married adults who lived with their spouse before marriage saw cohabitation as a step toward marriage.
  6. Financial Concerns: About three in ten non-engaged cohabiters who wish to marry someday cite financial readiness as a major reason they’re not yet married.

While religious beliefs often emphasize the sanctity of marriage and condemn cohabitation before marriage, modern perspectives view living together as a practical and meaningful step in a relationship. As societal norms evolve, the reasons for and against cohabitation continue to be debated and discussed.

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Friendships formed in childhood often become set in stone. Best friends forever.

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Sources

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  1. familyfire.com/articles/cohabitation-should-christians-live-together-before-marriage
  2. brides.com/story/living-together-before-marriage-study
  3. pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/11/06/key-findings-on-marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/

This article was produced and syndicated by Viral Chatter. It was inspired by this Reddit thread.

Martha A. Lavallie
Martha A. Lavallie
Author & Editor | + posts

Martha is a journalist with close to a decade of experience in uncovering and reporting on the most compelling stories of our time. Passionate about staying ahead of the curve, she specializes in shedding light on trending topics and captivating global narratives. Her insightful articles have garnered acclaim, making her a trusted voice in today's dynamic media landscape.