You’re sitting across from your adult child, sharing a meal and catching up on life. The conversation flows easily, but beneath the surface, there’s a longing for deeper connection and validation.
A recent survey¹ revealed that a remarkable 71% of parents believe their adult children’s successes and failures reflect on their parenting skills, highlighting the enduring impact of our words and actions.
So, what are the phrases that can make all the difference?
1. “I’m Sorry”
Acknowledging past mistakes and apologizing can be incredibly healing for adult children.
Even unintentional harm can leave lasting scars, and a sincere apology demonstrates accountability and a willingness to repair the relationship.
2. “I’m Proud of You”
No matter their age, kids want to know their parents are proud of the person they’ve become and what they’ve accomplished.
Hearing “I’m proud of what you’ve done and who you are” can be a beacon of light for those who doubt their achievements and position in life.
3. “I Trust Your Judgment”
Expressing trust in an adult child’s decision-making abilities shows respect for their autonomy.
It reassures them that you believe in their capability to navigate life’s challenges independently.
4. “I’m Here for You”
Knowing that a parent is available for emotional support, advice, or simply a listening ear can provide immense comfort to adult children. Make sure your child knows that you’re available whenever they need you.
5. “I Understand Your Perspective”
Validating an adult child’s thoughts and feelings, even if you disagree, demonstrates respect for their viewpoint. This bridges the gap between differing opinions and shows a willingness to listen and understand.
6. “I Love You, Just the Way You are”
Expressing unconditional love and acceptance is perhaps the most powerful phrase a parent can use. It affirms that an adult child’s worth is not tied to their achievements or ability to meet expectations.
7. “I Appreciate You”
Acknowledging the positive impact an adult child has on your life can strengthen the emotional bond. It shows that you value their presence and the unique qualities they bring to the relationship.
8. “I Was Wrong”
Admitting when you’ve made a mistake or handled a situation poorly demonstrates humility and growth.
When you take responsibility for your actions, even if it happened long ago, sets an example for adult children and fosters a more equal and respectful relationship.
9. “Do You Want Advice, or Would You Prefer I Just Listen?”
When adult children come to their parents with problems, sometimes they just want to be heard.
Offering them the choice between receiving advice or simply being listened to shows respect for their needs and allows them to feel supported in the way that works best for them.
10. “Your Life Path is Different than Mine, but I Support You”
Some parents can push their children down unwanted paths, often believing they’re doing the right thing. However, allowing adult children to make their own choices, even if they differ from your own, is crucial for their personal growth.
As parents, our role evolves as our children grow, but the need for emotional connection remains constant. It’s never too late to work on healing a parental relationship and moving to a place of strength and understanding.
Source:
1. Pew Research
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Nancy Maffia
Nancy received a bachelor’s in biology from Elmira College and a master’s degree in horticulture and communications from the University of Kentucky. Worked in plant taxonomy at the University of Florida and the L. H. Bailey Hortorium at Cornell University, and wrote and edited gardening books at Rodale Press in Emmaus, PA. Her interests are plant identification, gardening, hiking, and reading.
